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Sunday, August 17, 2008

Mummies 真伟大

i think mummies are great. they really goes thru alot of shit in order to deliver the joy bundle. puffer fish figure lah, roti prata face lah, crater face texture lah, elephant bums lah, thunder thighs lah, needle riddled back lah ... all these are one of the few facelifts that they have to go thru. not forgetting the pain of labour and putting their lives on the line in the delivery suite. so salute to all mummies.

am not undermining the hardships of daddies, we go thru insane shit sometimes.
"dear... i miss the boon lay nasi lemak leh .... " /faint
" i still crave for nasi lemak leh ... " (wah piangz, 2 wks in a row)

Saturday, August 16, 2008


i dun remember writing anything related to this ever since LTT (Little Terror Tristan) was born. actually i wanted to blog this entry while i was suffering from insomnia, vexed with pending work issues and missing my family when i was in taiwan. but the internet service in my hotel SUXX, took me freaking 5-10 min juz to login.

>>Warning : Long Entry

first and foremost, in the delivery suite. i was caught in a very perplex emotional tidal swing awaiting for his arrival. the initial plan was to stay beside nic and NOT see how LTT was delivered, juz in case i happen to pass out at the sight of it.

Gynae>ok, get ready, follow my instructions and timing, when i ask u to push, u take a deep breath and push with all ur might k?
Nic>ok ...
(few minutes later)
Gynae>the head is coming out ...daddy ?
Me>yes ?
Gynae>see ? the head coming out
Me>huh ? where ? (head lean over to take a look)

at this point of time, i have reached the point of no return. initially, i told myself no, i am not going to look at it for fear that i will pass out and require emergency resusitation attention. i guess my curiosity took control of my consciousness sub-consciously when she pop the qn " see ? the head coming out ... " my immediate reaction was lean over and try to look at it. LOL, but when i saw the head slowly emerging, i was awed by that sight. i witness the whole contortionistic performance by LTT and its a feeling that i have NEVER experience in my whole life. the moment his whole body is out, my eyes went red as i try to fight back bursting out in tears. i only remember quickly wiping off a tiny stream of tears running down my cheeks before i receive my first instructions. Cutting the cord is ... scary. i was holding the scissors and trying very hard to hide my shivering hands. suddenly i felt as if i am a noob holding a pair of scissors trying to cut the live wire to disarm an explosive bomb. i even have the tot if this gonna cause him any pain. other than the train of nonsence that went thru my mind during that short span of time, the overall experience was unbelievable!

To: daddies,
almost every nite, i would take the nite shift, feeding him, helping him change diapers during the wee hours. Nic often complains of this nocturnal lifestyle and says that it was uncalled for. she say we can wake the maid up when LTT starts crying to feed him. my reason for doing so is, firstly, i wanna let the maid have ample sleeping time. this is because she is required to tidy up the house and also take care of LTT, so i wouldnt want her to fall ill, suffer any injuries, screw more things up, OR let anything happen to LTT becos she was too exhausted. Secondly, i love the feeling when i pick him up to feed him when he start his hunger sirens, cradle him in my arms during the feed, and changing his diapers after the feed. the feeling of going thru all these make me feel ... needed, its a private session between me and him. its like, look, the whole world is sleeping, ur hungry and crying, but no worries, daddy is here to save the day. LOL
not every daddies have flexible hours to do this, and i dun encourage daddies to do that and head to work in the morning, u wont last more than 3 days doing it and its not realistic. but the very least is, be able to do all those things. if there ever comes a situation where there is no help ard, and ur toon is in distress, you are still able to handle the situation urself. every one has different persepective in different things, personally, i dont want to be a eye-power-daddy. i know there are still certain duties that i still couldnt undertake, but at least there are some that i am proficient in.

tho i may not be the one carrying out all those duties every nite, but i try my best to do it whenever i can. love watching him sleep and observing his various unorthodox sleeping positions. and the blurry look sometimes when he opened his eyes and look at me when i carry him out of his bed to feed him. this is the time when his concentration is at his max and will obediently stay still looking at you. the rest of the time, its an epic battle trying to get his attention and concentration amidst millions of distration.

To: Mummies
mummies who have higher difficulties in conceiving, do not be disheartened. take things with an open heart. i wouldnt want to say prepared for the worst and hope for the best. as many ppl will view it with a negative approach. they will think it means dun carry too much hope, so that you wont be too disappointed when it doesnt turn out well. i believe this is a negative perspective. since u know that you have lower chance of conceiving compared to other females, all the more you should be happy if you ever did conceive. speak to ur child, tell ur toon how much u love them and how happy that this miracle happened. communicate wif them. some ppl may argue that by doing this, you are putting ur hopes too high and if it doesnt turn out well, you will be devastated and disillusioned. that depends on which perspective ur holding. think it this way, even when the chance of conceiving is slim, it still happened, which means that even tho when hope is fragile, no one can change the fact that it did happened. even if it was short-lived, be thankful that it happened, cause it has proven the fact that there is still HOPE. embrace every pregnancy with joy and hope, think positively, have the right attitude, for there are still many things in life that dun alwaz equate 1+1=2.

miracles do happen. Remember: what you think and feel will directly affect the life within you.

a tightly clenched fist is never in a position to receive anything, even if its a good thing.
a wide open palm is alwaz ready to receive anything. even when bad things happen, knowing that as long as ur in this position, you CAN receive good things.

Every time i am out of town, i will miss my family lotz. kids change ur lives, dramatically. but i am glad these changes happened.

ps: can never resist LTT's smiles.

my blabbering

actually, i am quite apprehensive about penning down this entry. i mean i would very much like to keep this portal dedicated to my little terror. but ... before i get back my old bloggy, i shall temporarily park this entry here. Thus, apologies to all terror tristan avid fans out there hoping to see more updates about him.

these few months has been a rough ride for me, lotsa things happened and mostly, i am busy cleaning shit that were left behind by ppl.

i am often caught unaware of impromptu situation when ppl made decisions w/o telling me and come running to me when shit happens and expect me to react. my way of doing things is to analyze every single possible alternatives, their possible outcomes, and the relevant solutions to them. i like to have an overview of the current situation and whatever that may happen in the future. On the contrary, very often, decisions were made w/o my knowledge and i happen to be the last one to find out when things go astray. Then ppl come breathing down my neck expecting me to react in the fastest time possible. i dun like to make rash decisions w/o thinking thru all the possible repercussions, thus, often when i am caught unprepared, i am very reluctant to make any decisions, even if i do, i wont feel secure about it.

i mean sometimes, with the panic button pressed, i can understand its difficult to get things done, think about solutions, answering bugging interrogations and communicate with every appointment holders at the same time. sometimes, its good that one have the initiative to directly contact key ppl (which is suppose to be my job) to get response. but, the least you can do is to let me know of every internal decisions that you have made so that i can be more prepared about it. u dun make decisions liao, when things go out of control, u start calling me and ask me to call them instead and pressure me every few minutes for a response while not letting me know about those plans or decisions which were made earlier.

in short, if it falls within my jurisdiction, let me have the control, or the very least, update me of the most current plan. i would have been in a better situation many a times if i were not caught unexpected due to the fact that decisions were ammended without my knowledge.

to summarize this entry using another genre,

(if you cant KITE the ADDS or HOLD THE AGGRO properly, control ur DPS and stay on ur MA. if you expect me to solve problems within this AOE, let me have a good LOS. if not, dun expect any effective CC when there are any HATE issues, ADDS or DPS overdose. GG.)

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

11 months as of 5th August 2008, Tuesday

Tristan is officially 11 months as of today! Yipee! I'm so happy. 1 more month and he will be 1 year old. In the past, when others celebrated their baby 1 year old, I will always think that the baby is an 'old baby' already. However, looking at my own Little Tristan, I can't help but think he is still so babyish.

Yesterday night was an amazing night. He looked at me and utter the word 'mama' softly because he wanted me to carry him from his cot. It really melts my heart. I tried to make him say it again but he simply refused. Nonetheless, it was really a feeling that is beyond description.

I'm now anxiously counting down to 5th September to celebrate his 1 year old. Cheers! =)